Forgiveness

This past ten days has been a truly interesting time. Last week Thursday I had a bicycle accident (someone cut me off and I had to turn to miss hitting them). Anyway, I wound up with a pretty good size cut on my nose (got 5 stitches to close it up!), broke my nose, and got some road rash on left arm. I had been on my way to work when it happened. Anyway, I was told to go to a specific type of doctor to get the stitches out, but with COVID 19 everywhere, and having no other form of transportation, there was no way that I could go 45 miles to get the stitches out.

So I texted one of my high school classmates, and she arranged for another classmate to come get the stitches out. She was able to get one of them out but had to call another former classmate to come help. The second nurse, who I had held a grudge against for many years, was able to get the remainder of the stitches out.

Today, April 11th, the second nurse came by with a gift, a bicycle helmet. I was quite surprised. Anyway, I apologized for the grudge I held against her for so many years. I have forgiven her, and she has forgiven me. It feels good to finally have that part of my past truly in the past now!

Something to think about: Bad feelings that we hold against someone are almost always worse for ourselves than the other person. The other person probably does not even realize that he or she has hurt you. It is better to forgive the person and move on. I can even say that after holding the bad feelings in for 36 years, that I truly feel better now, and she and I may actually become friends, something I was never able to consider becoming until now.

How can you work at forgiving yourself or others?

Fear

This last month or so many people have lived in fear because of the Corona virus. While fear of the unknown is very common in the world today, many have gone overboard in preparing for a lengthy stay at home. Others, like me, cannot afford the luxury of being over-prepared. We are living day to day, fearing that we will not have enough money to survive because the paycheck we get has been reduced substantially. Will we be able to afford the necessities, like basic food items, to pay our bills, or even put fuel in our vehicles? I haven’t had the ability to save back money because it all goes to the things we take for granted will always be there.

What are some things we can do to keep ourselves calm in this time of uncertainty? Focusing on a short-term goal and working toward accomplishing it can be helpful. Another thing (if you believe in God) is to pray. Bare your soul to God. Tell him your concerns. Then sit and listen. Third is to focus on your breathing, inhaling for 2-3 seconds, then exhaling, repeating for at least a couple of minutes. This will help you to become calm and focused because you will not be stressing over anything else. Then, with this new calm, you will be able to calmly focus on a concern and work toward a solution. Exercise is another way to help you relax (walking, biking, or yoga are good forms of exercise).

What can you do to help others during this pandemic? Reach out to others, calling them on the phone or texting them. See if they are okay. Buy an elderly neighbor some groceries. Ask someone if they need anything. What will you do to help yourself and others stay calm?

Beautiful

I attended a women’s conference this weekend with one of my sisters. She and I attended together, celebrating our birthdays together as well. My birthday was the day before the conference, and her birthday is today, the day after the conference.

What was this event about? It was about the beauty that we can see, if we are willing, the beauty in both ourselves and our daily struggles. It got me thinking: Where is the beauty in the struggles I have seen in my life?

We all have difficulties, struggles that we each go through. If you are anything like me, you ask why you are going through a difficult time. You don’t want the struggle. You want life to be easy, right? But having an easy life does not help us to become who we are supposed to be. An easy life does not allow us to learn from mistakes.

Here is a personal example: The last year has not been easy by any means. I had lost a job in October 2018 and was struggling to make ends meet. Because I had been arrested earlier in 2018, I was having difficulty finding a job in the small town where I live. A friend of mine hired me on to clean her house twice a week. Unfortunately I was not making enough money, so I had to continue looking for other work while continuing to work for the friend while also attending probation meetings. This was not easy to do because I could only go to the employment office one day a week because the other two days that it was open were the days I was working. I had a lot of stress. I applied for many jobs but no one was willing to take a chance with me. In August 2019 my SUV was repossessed because of my stupidity. I began walking everywhere, and my dad would take me to work twice a week because work was too far away for me to walk. In late August, I was given a bicycle, a one-speed cruiser. I still had to ask my dad to take me to work, but I could now get everywhere else much more quickly. Finally, in November 2019, I applied for work at a hotel across town. I was able to secure this job, and have been able to work almost ready exclusively at this hotel since then. I have been riding the bike to work everyday. In January, a friend I hadn’t seen for about 20 years came through town, and I was able to see her for a few minutes one day while at work. She had seen my poor bike, and she apparently got it stuck in her mind to help me. Well, today she and her husband came to town and brought me a new bike, one with gears, that I would be able to utilize better on my returning home from work each day.

Where did I find beauty in this situation? I found that even though I had many struggles, I was able to hold on to hope, and even though the struggle has not been easy, that when you have a support system, even the worst of struggles can become better. Patience comes to those who struggle, while impatience comes to those who have it easy.

What are the difficulties that you are going through? Can you see any good within these difficult times? Have you been able to learn patience and gratitude in your time of difficulty?

Thankfulness

Yes, I know I’ve posted about thankfulness before, but it takes on new meaning for me, especially now that I have a new job. I started my new job on November 26th. I’m finally feeling better about myself, have started making payments to different places, and hopefully by this time next year I will have several Bill’s paid off or paid down quite a bit. There is light in this tunnel that I’ve been going through, and I am seeing things slowly improve!

Be thankful for everything you go through–the struggles, the heartaches, and of course the good times as well. Thank those who have been there for you during the worst of times because they know all that you have been through that has brought you to be the person that you are now!!!

Thanksgiving 2019

This year is quiet. Everyone in my family (except for me because I had to work) went to Houston to celebrate Thanksgiving with my younger sister’s in-laws. But my oldest sister brought me a Thanksgiving meal when she came in from Round Rock yesterday, so I was able to have a Thanksgiving meal today. Even had my mom’s bread dressing YUM!!!!)! I miss my boys, but am so thankful that they are in my life!

Things I am thankful for this year: My family and friends and my new job that I started two days ago. Today was my third day of work!

Happiness Projects

It’s been a while since my last blog. Unfortunately not much has gone on that was keeping me positive–until today! It had grown colder over the last couple of days (and here in Texas anytime it’s 60° or below, that’s cold!). Anyway, I had to go look for some warmer clothing…

When I went out to my garage to look for some sweaters and such (which I could not find, by the way! Lol), I came across some quilts and other projects that I had made before. So, of course I had to bring those inside. Then, after I brought those things in, I noticed that a quilt I had made was needing some repairs to it. So, I had to go through some boxes of scraps, looking for fabrics I could use that were similar enough in shades that I could use.

Finding nothing that I could use in the fabric I had inside, I went back to the garage to look through some other fabric I had. Looking through that last batch of fabric had me going down memory lane, bringing me back to when I had only one child (I have three boys now). Back then, I was involved in a quilting group, and I was the youngest member. I remembered many times when I would load up John, his play pen, his toys, my sewing machine, and the fabric from the projects I was making. It would take me about 15 minutes to get everything loaded or unloaded, but then I got to sew for 2-3 hours and socialize at the same time. How times have changed!

Anyway, I finally found the fabrics I needed, and took all the fabric from the last box of memories (fabrics that I hadn’t seen in ages!), and I knew I would start working again on my seeing and quilting projects again.

THAT IS WHAT I CALL HAPPINESS!!!

Friendships

It is vital, in my opinion, to form and keep friendships. Why? To have a friend means that we matter to someone. Knowing that we matter to someone, that we are important to someone, gives us great pleasure because we know that we are valued.

However, there are also people that make us feel that we matter, and then they just flip us out of their lives. Being used by someone, valued only for what they think we can do for them, is an awful feeling. I was used by someone recently. They made me feel important, and then attempted to start controlling me in many ways. I broke down. I finally came to realize that what they were doing was manipulating me and making me feel bad when I could not or would not help them. That is a toxic relationship.

Friends love you for you. They will help you, support you, encourage you, and even pray for you. I can only hope that I can be considered a true friend, that I will not be seen as a user of those around me.

Think about how you act with others. Do you use people, or are you a friend to others?

Anticipation

Anticipation can mean different things to different people. Anticipation can mean excitement for some, nervousness or slight anxiety for some, and an all-out anxiety or panic attack for others. For others it may just mean they are calm and looking forward to an event.

Right now it is summer time. Children across the nation have been either enjoying the break or are bored by this time. Teachers are enjoying their time off. Parents are starting to want their children back in school.

How do we deal with time off? It’s hard to deal with time off, especially if it is unplanned, such as losing a job. With no money coming in, it is easy to lose hope. It doesn’t have to be that way. By making out a daily list of things to do, you will be able to keep yourself occupied with things to do. You will have a purpose in each thing that you have planned.

What are other ways to keep yourself calm and busy when you have unexpected things come up?