We usually think that Valentine’s Day is reserved for those who have significant others. To a certain extent this is true. Many times those who are single feel they are looked down upon because they don’t have a date or significant other to spend the day with, but oftentimes it is not that they are being looked down upon, but rather they are anxious or depressed because they are alone.
Thinking about my dad, and several others that have lost their spouses in the last couple years. Couples that were married for over 50 years. My mother died last year, a week before Valentine’s Day, so this is the second Valentine’s Day without her. Dad has already spent several holidays without her, including Easter, Thanksgiving, their anniversary, her birthday, and Christmas. It has been difficult to say the least because I don’t know that he expected to outlive her, but the illness she suffered from had already taken away the person he knew and loved several years ago. But he loved her with all his heart. Will he always grieve the loss of his love, his best friend, his wife? I believe he will always, to some extent, grieve, but he has been dealing with being alone for a year now. He keeps himself busy so that he doesn’t get depressed.
Keeping oneself busy so you can combat depression or anxiety is helpful. I do it myself. My children have been living with someone else for over a year now. They are living with family, but it still hurts that they are not with me, that I am not taking care of them, but they know that I would gladly be taking care of them if I could.
What do I do to keep my depression and anxiety at bay? I do creative things, like sewing, writing, drawing, and doing research. My dad goes outside to do projects such as mowing, playing games on his computer, and watching TV. We each have our own ways of dealing with things.
So, what does this have to do with Valentine’s Day? Remember those that have been unable to share with those that have been in their lives forever. They will likely be depressed that they don’t have their spouse to spend the day with. Those that are only single, those that have not lost a loved one, will have a different perspective than those who have spent their lives loving someone.
Does it mean that you cannot be sad that you are alone on February 14th? No, but keep it in perspective, think about how much more difficult it is for those who have experienced the death of a loved one that they want to spend time with. If you are single, do something special for yourself! Pray for those who don’t have someone to share with use of an illness or death. It really makes you reconsider that being single on Valentine’s Day, a day that celebrates love, is not that bad.